I always hated the title "Mommy Blogger" but I never quite knew why.
Mommy/Mummy bloggers write. Mostly about their lives and their kids. There are as many of them as there are opinions and arseholes. The range of interest and quality is far and wide.
I write. And I'm a mum. Does that make me a mummy blogger?
I write for many publications, the majority are around parenting, because that's where I'm at right now. That doesn't mean I can't apply my brain and my skills to many other topics, (I've written about design, immigration, employment, relationships, tourism and a trillion other varieties) but people like to label and zone and put you in a nice neat box. I write about kids, therefore I must be a mummy blogger, right?
The first time someone said to me "you're just one of those mummy bloggers" I nearly vomited in my own mouth. At first I thought, why am I so offended by that? I wasn't sure.
It is true: I am a mother and I write about mothering.
Do I "blog"? Well, I guess so.
Do I think anyone is reading my verbal diarrhoea on my personal website? No.
Do I try to cater the content to attract marketing and PR giants so they shower me with free gifts? Clearly not. Given my underwhelming pay check, maybe I should?
Then it dawned on me: blogging and writing are two separate things.
Blogging is a "web log". A place to keep a journal or thoughts or share information with a readership, if that's what you choose. Some people are great at it, some people should find another day job based not only on their grammar but their ability to make watching a cow pat dry out more interesting than reading their daily diatribe. But maybe they don't blog for others, maybe it is something for them and they are happy to make it public?
For me, a blog is a place to keep track of articles I've written and to throw some thoughts out into the world. Mostly, the blog is for me. I don't write it for anyone in particular. It has to be interesting to me, first and foremost. Without interest and passion, you fall into that net of beige. Maybe someone will come across my blog and agree with my passion, or be inspired or enraged or amused or hell, even moved. Maybe they won't. It doesn't change what I write about because I don't have anyone looking over my shoulder telling me it's not going to sell a product if I say it that way.
Then, there is writing. And this is where the two worlds blurred when that person accused me of mummy blogging. The reason I was offended was because she said the title like it was a dirty word and it downplayed and patronised what I do for a living.
What I needed that person to know is: I am a professional writer. I write and get paid for articles for a specific audience. It is a real job. I choose the topics myself, they are not orchestrated by a PR company or a marketing campaign. Sometimes I am asked to write about a product, and I will only do so if I like the stuff. I'm not going to spin shit about something I'm never going to use because people can see through that thin veil of complete and utter crap. I have a honed bullshit meter - I don't want to read other people's puppetry of marketing, and I certainly don't want to write it and expect others to read and believe it.
Honesty and authenticity are all I have. Once I give up those, I've sold my soul.
So, go you, Josi Denise (is that your real name?). You seem to have made a lot of money and achieved successful status in that world of blogging and marketing. I'm sorry it took you so long to realise you weren't being true to yourself. But I'm ecstatic that you've shared it because there are many lessons to be learned here.