What makes a sex scene cringey?
Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash
I will confess, in my two decades of putting words on pages I have avoided writing sex scenes. This Sydney Morning Herald article may well be the closest thing I got to the subject matter.
My debut novel, Someone Else’s Child, had one intimate scene between the protagonist Ren and her unexpected love interest, but it was what I’d call a kiss, then a closed door type arrangement. Sparse detail.
My upcoming book, The Eleventh Floor, has some edgy scenes but they appear in the form of flashbacks and are not … romantic. They are definitely not the spicy sauce some readers seek out.
Perhaps I was scarred by books in the nineties that used phrases like “pulsating manhood” and “bulging zipper”. There is even an award for Bad Sex in Fiction! One award I have no desire to win.
Photo by Pickled Stardust on Unsplash
Speaking of accolades, award-winning author Anne Freeman is an expert at writing scenes with spice. Her debut novel Returning to Adelaide has some hot and heavy moments thanks to unrequited love and succumbing to old passions, but nothing too overt. Anne’s second novel, Me That You See is due out in March 2024, and described as “a thrilling glimpse into online sex work packaged for book club banter and voyeuristic pleasure”. Saddle up, readers!
After attending Anne’s Stories with Spice workshop, she was kind enough to let me pick her brain about all things sexy time.
What makes a sex scene cringe?
There are so many things! Some foibles are universal like using descriptions that are cliched, clinical or (unintentionally) comical. These swiftly snatch us from immersion in the story and make us hyper-aware of the writing in an adverse way.
Each of us also has a full suite of personal preference cringes. Using cutesy language to describe female anatomy elicits a hard pass from me and many women I speak to. Equally, describing male anatomy using terminology best suited to a tool shed is less than ideal. Please keep your "rods" and "steel" for Aldi Father's Day Special Buys.
How do we cater sex scenes to our ideal reader?
Understanding how to craft a spicy scene begins with an understanding of who is reading it. One size does not fit all. A woman in her early twenties, say, will have vastly different preferences to a woman in her early fifties. And age is just the beginning! When you get inside the head of your ideal reader, not only can you intuit language preferences and aversions but ways you can ensure she's invested and to amp up the heat.
Say your ideal reader is an early forties, cis, heterosexual woman who is married with two young children. Read: Me. She's me. If you understand that her pain points are a lack of time to herself, a never ending to-do list and feelings of invisibility, give her a love interest who is aligned with her desires to be pampered, adored and seen for the individual she is, away from her day-to-day responsibilities.
Is there a place for spicy scenes in all books or is it just something for romance and ‘smut’ readers?
A spicy scene can be an effective vehicle to move your story forward, reveal character truths, raise the stakes or complicate things. Moments of intimacy place characters under the microscope which is a lot of fun to play with. When done well, a spicy scene blends seamlessly into the narrative voice and storyline. I, personally, love when a spicy scene pops up outside of the romance genre.
Tell me your favourite sex scene in a book and why you love it? (Or is that like choosing a favourite child?!)
Seven Days in June by Tia Williams was bottom lip-biter for me. The protagonist, Eva, is a romance author who's a single mother. The love interest, Shane, is a literary fiction genius and may be the only person on earth who truly sees Eva for the complicated woman she is. You can see how this aligns with the pain points I mentioned above like a fresh-seal lid on a Tupperware container, right?
Another honourable mention must go to Kate Mildenhall's The Hummingbird Effect which has an expertly crafted spicy scene between La and her girlfriend Cat in the 2031 timeline. Well-played K.Mild, well-played.
Can you debunk some myths about writing sex scenes?
That spicy novels are only enjoyed by "deviants" — to borrow an antiquated term! I've had countless readers respond with delight at what they read in Returning to Adelaide and most of them have not been readers of the romance sub-genre known by that glorious colloquial moniker, 'smut'. This just goes to show that understanding your ideal reader is everything. I write spicy scenes for women who don't read erotic fiction.
So, tell me dear reader, do you have a favourite literary sex scene? What do you love (or hate) about the writing of spicy moments?
KOx
